the Office quote of the day 9-24-08

Dwight Schrute: This car is crap. I will buy it for next to nothing.
Andy Bernard: How next to?
Dwight Schrute: Well, here are your options: You can sell it for parts, drive it off a cliff, you can donate it to a person who you’d like to see die in a car crash, or you can sell it to me and I’ll use it as I would a wagon on my farm. It will be towed by a donkey.
Andy Bernard: I have to pick one of those?
Dwight Schrute: Yes.
Andy Bernard: Can you go over those options again?

The Office Season Premier 9.25.08!

the Office quote of the day

Andy: [to Michael] Just listen, I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk, waitresses, hot. Football, Cornell-Hofstra, slaughter!

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Andy: Best ad ever? [singing] Give me a break…gimme a break…break me off a piece of that…[stops] I am totally blanking! What is the thing?

Jim: Nobody tell him!

Andy: Wha? No…why?

Jim: You got it, you’re so close.

Andy: Break me off a piece of that…apple sauce

Jim: Break me off a piece of that apple sauce. I don’t think that’s…

Andy: Piece of that Chrysler car…football cream…