the Office quote of the day 9-24-08
September 24, 2008
Dwight Schrute: This car is crap. I will buy it for next to nothing.
Andy Bernard: How next to?
Dwight Schrute: Well, here are your options: You can sell it for parts, drive it off a cliff, you can donate it to a person who you’d like to see die in a car crash, or you can sell it to me and I’ll use it as I would a wagon on my farm. It will be towed by a donkey.
Andy Bernard: I have to pick one of those?
Dwight Schrute: Yes.
Andy Bernard: Can you go over those options again?
The Office Season Premier 9.25.08!
the Office quote of the day 7-20-08
July 20, 2008
Dwight Schrute: I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like…Mozart’s friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like…Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You’re gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
the Office quote of the day 7-11-08
July 11, 2008
Michael: Campus…brings back so many memories that I would…have made…
the Office quote of the day 6-28-08
June 28, 2008
- Jim: [dressed like Dwight] Question: What kind of bear is best?
- Dwight: That’s a ridiculous question…
- Jim: False. Black bear.
- Dwight: That’s debatable, there are basically two schools of thought…
- Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
- Dwight: Bears do not…what is going on?!? What are you doing?!?
SNL Digital Short: Japanese Office
June 24, 2008
It has a :30 commercial before it starts. Be patient folks.
the Office quote of the day 6-22-08
June 22, 2008
Michael: I’m very fast. I’m like Forest Gump except…I am not an idiot.
the Office quote of the day 6-10-08
June 11, 2008
Dwight: How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working. Alpha male. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable.
the Office quote of the day 5-28-08
May 29, 2008
Dwight: I’m a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer, they have very good vision. One thing about me…I am better at hiding than they are at vision.
the Office quote of the day 5-24-08
May 24, 2008
Michael: Myth: 3 Americans every year die from rabies.
Fact: 4 Americans every year die from rabies.
the Office quote of the day
May 22, 2008
Andy: [to Michael] Just listen, I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk, waitresses, hot. Football, Cornell-Hofstra, slaughter!
__________________________________________________
- Andy: Best ad ever? [singing] Give me a break…gimme a break…break me off a piece of that…[stops] I am totally blanking! What is the thing?
- Jim: Nobody tell him!
- Andy: Wha? No…why?
- Jim: You got it, you’re so close.
- Andy: Break me off a piece of that…apple sauce
- Jim: Break me off a piece of that apple sauce. I don’t think that’s…
- Andy: Piece of that Chrysler car…football cream…
